Would you stay or would you go? Thankful

The Love Story

It was like a fairy tale!!

Boy and Girl meet.

Boy and Girl go out out.

Boy lights Sambuca in Girls mouth. ……..burns girls mouth!!

Who said romance is dead!

Boy and girl keep relationship quiet for 6 months.

They realise they quite like each other.

Decide to buy a house.

Boy and Girl move into house…..lots of parties.

One day girl starts to feel poorly then BOOM, within 24hrs she’s left blind and paralysed.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

When I fell ill I did find myself having the thoughts about ending it with Danny. He did not need to be dealing with this crap…..literally!!

At the time he was only 23 and did not need to be living or taking care of a registered blind paraplegic. I did not want him to feel like he had to stay and that if he did decide to go then there would be no hard feelings. I could understand that if he stayed it would be difficult and both our lives would be changed forever.

After the discussion a couple of times (not the best conversation to have when drunk FYI), he reassured me each time that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he loved me and we were doing this together.

He stayed, yay!!

And I got him to put a ring on it!!

He is an amazing man and we have created a wonderful life together, a life that I am so blessed to have and so grateful for. But could I have been as strong as him if tables were turned?

It is said that more men stay with woman after Spinal Cord Injury (SCI). As apparently some women find it hard to cope if their man becomes a wheely. I don’t think it’s down to not loving that person but the mental, emotional and physical strain it can put on a relationship.

I think it takes a very strong minded person to be able to stay and if Danny’s decision had of been to go, then I would have supported that, as you both have to be prepared for the ups and downs and be a team.

I would like to say yes, I would like to say love would conquer all. But knowing what I know and what Danny has had to do for me, in all honesty I just don’t know.

Question

A difficult question I know, but Would you?

6 Replies to “Would you stay or would you go? Thankful”

  1. My husband is amazing and has always said we are in this together. He knows that if the tables were turned I would do the same for him. I am paralysed t6 incomplete since sep 18 after being in a coach crash in Barcelona on the way to the airport after a holiday with my husband in Spain.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is beautiful Belle ! You and Danny are both amazing people ! The love you have for each other is huge and shows through all the troubles and termoil! Carry on being you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We have both had unexpected illness and disability after being very active when we met. Though our relationship isn’t conventional or what would be classed as normal it works well for us. I never even thought about ending our relationship when he got sick and everything changed. When I became disabled later I did give him the chance to go and though he’s not very empathic or caring in the expected way he will do all he can to keep me safe. It works because we compromise.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful story of how life delivers challenge and love rises to meet it. I think the question of how I would respond is impossible to answer. Of course my response right now is that I would stay no matter what. It is a very important question to ask, and a very difficult question to ponder. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt message to us! Love! —Bonnie

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thought provoking article – and a brutally honest question…
    I met my hubby at uni – 5 years after my accident.
    Being incomplete C5/6 I was mobile with elbow crutches + w/c for distances. We had lots travel adventures followed by marriage & 2 kids.
    Age since SCI has taken its toll & I am now a lot less mobile but then the truly unbelievable happened 18 months ago & my hubby had
    a cycle accident & sustained compression SCI at C5/6….
    I am finding it incredibly hard to come to terms with.
    My big strong man is no more. It has hit him hard mentally & he has some paralysis & nerve pain.
    We are struggling….

    Liked by 1 person

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